She Will Be Loved

She will be loved

Even when she is being stubborn

When she tries to go it on her own

When she decides she is smarter than him

She will be loved








She will be loved

When she messes up her life so bad

When she makes decisions a child wouldn’t

When she acts with no iota of sense

She will be loved


She will be loved

When she is all sad and depressed

When she can only see grey in her life

When all the cheer and joy seems non existent

She will be loved


She will be loved

When she is being smart

When she is obedient and loyal

When she is treading the path carved for her

She will be loved









She will be loved

When she turns to the dark

When to the light she turns her back

When all caution to the wind she throws

She will be loved


She will be loved

When she is PMsing and being bitchy

When she can’t be bothered to smile

When she’d rather read trash not his message

She will be loved


She will be loved

When she causes men to stumble

When she helps people find light

When she herself stumbles

She will be loved


She will be loved

Through it all

Because God is Love

And she is eklektos

Child Rape. Child Protection

I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that someone would forcefully have sex with a kid! That’s about the height of depravity. Reading about incidents like this and this just always leaves me amazed. I find it just ……! (I have no words to describe how such incidents make me feel).



A few weeks I went down south to spend some time with my family and my mom who is the principal of a government junior secondary school shared with me some things that students in her school go through. One of the what she shared was about a boy who used to sleep with older women and they basically were responsible for bankrolling his life. She told me about a young girl who had been molested by an older man and was now pregnant. One common denominator among all these young folks she told me about is that after whatever first incident they went through, their lives all took a turn for the worse.


There are not a lot of things as important as child protection. Taking away their rights to life, survival and development is what happens when they are sexually molested. Their rights to be heard and to non discrimination are taken away too and their best interests are totally thrown aside. The statistics for India below are just devastating. In Nigeria, the figures are just as devastating and it is sadder to realise that we do not even have the correct statistics as a lot of such cases pass under the radar.

th22_city_childrap_1434628f (1)


Our children need to be protected, dysfunctional children become dysfunctional adults and dysfunctional adults contribute to making a dysfunctional society. These cases cannot be swept under the rug, we need to see to the complete rehabilitation of survivors and to the punishment of the offenders. Above all we need to ensure that these cases stop totally. Children need to be clearly taught how to protect themselves and how to report any slightest incidence no matter the form of threat or coercion they experience.



We need more child protectors out here. As a mother, father, older sibling or family member or even neighbour you are in the position to be a child protector. Show them love, let them know the harsh possibilities in this world and prepare them ahead for it.

If you would like to know more about how to protect our children please reach out to The Eight Foundation or to Kingsley Udo a fierce child protector.

Covenant of Purity

This post here is one I struggled with. To write or not to write? Apparently, I finally decided I would. I’m writing the post for myself as much as it is for the readers. In this age of extreme sexual perversion, it is becoming increasingly harder to stay pure and if you do not stand for something you will fall for anything. I just want to share my story of entering into a covenant of purity with God.

I’m a confirmed #TeamNoSexBeforeMarriage member. Nothing is taking me out of that team. Twale to my team members all over the world. My own focus wasn’t just about no sex till marriage but purity as well. However, over time I realized that I was using the #NoSexBeforeMarriage thing to cut corners on maintaining purity. Purity is not just about abstaining from sex, it is also about your thoughts, what you read and watch and other things aside the act of intercourse. I’ve heard of people who have done everything there is to do in sex asides the actual penetration. That’s not purity.

At a point in time in my life when my walk with God was just yo-yoing up and down, I began to pay attention to the wrong things and my standards and definition of purity began to change. I caught myself in time and just had to make a turnaround. So during the last week of 2014, I do not remember the exact day, I entered into a covenant of purity with God. I also set the boundaries of that covenant.

We agreed that there would be well delineated limits of physical intimacy for me before marriage with any man be it (friend, boyfriend or fiancée). Asides that I was going to never pay attention to literature with erotic content (explicit or not) as well as images and videos. That is my covenant with God. On the 1st of April, I renewed that covenant just to strengthen myself and decided I was going to blog about it. Putting it out here gives me a higher level of accountability and I hope it encourages someone out there.

Now, just to be clear. I’m totally not the holier-than-thou type, not at all. Those who know me can attest to that. I’ve stumbled quite a number of times along the way. I’ve thought the wrong things, read the wrong things, watched the wrong things and even made out with one or two guys. Trust me, it is not easy putting myself out here like this but I do so knowing someone will be encouraged and strengthened. But I have retraced my steps and I have set myself limits. I realized that one main reason why I stumbled was because I set no boundaries or limits and I’m sure that’s the case for people with similar experiences. You might think my limits are too severe but I know myself and what would work best for me. I also know that the limits are very much attainable.

Another note to be clear on: I’m not trying to judge anyone here, every man stands individually before God and relates with him personally. Whatever you do is yours and is totally none of my business. I do know however based on my faith and belief in Christ that sexual purity is the way to go and I’m sticking to it with all of me. It would be great if you joined me. Trust me, the stress is less, no kidding!

Here’s to the journey of sexual purity between my Lord and I.


My Cultured by Grace Test

As I’ve said in my previous Cultured by Grace posts, my aim this year is to be a woman truly cultured and by grace at that. Some days ago all I have been professing and practicing was truly tested and I’m sad to report that I  more than failed the test. This is how the story goes:

I hailed me a cab to take me from Wuse Zone 2 to Adetokunbo Ademola Crescent in Wuse 2, the fare is usually N300, the maximum it should be is N400. The driver, a man not a guy, decided to bill me N600 but I got it down to N300. I described my destination to him using the Diamond Bank on that road saying it was just a few buildings after it. The place was on the other side of the road from the lane we were driving on so when we were close I pointed it out to him. I guess he wasn’t clear with my pointing because he almost drove past the place where he could make a turn. I caught him just in time and he was able to make the turn albeit a sharp one. 

The trouble started when instead of him driving a few metres further down to my destination, he decided to stop at the point where he made the turn. I told him to keep going on that we had not yet reached the place, he just flared up saying why did I not describe the place to him better and told me to leave the car that he was going nowhere. I told him that if I got out of the car, I wouldn’t pay him since we had not reached my destination and that moreover I did not have the cash to pay him on me but would get it where I was going (which was very true). The man told me if I tried getting out he would come down and beat me. I told him he had to get me to where I was going. 

He started saying that I was an otondo, a fraudulent and wicked person and that it would be people like me that would not enjoy their husband’s houses. Now this is where I wished I would have just shut up. I retorted saying it would be his daughter that would not enjoy her husband’s house *covers face*. The man’s anger just escalated ehn! I then told him that if he could not stand someone saying that about his daughter why would he say that about someone else’s daughter. 


There was this kind of back and forth for some minutes, I told him not to tell me such nonsense, he threatened to beat me again. Eventually, I came to my senses, shut up and he went to drop me at my destination and I paid him. I was to meet up with some folks and when I did, I started telling them about the most stupid man I’d ever met in Abuja. I narrated the incidence and vented more anger. 

After I vented my anger and calmed down, I realised I had just utterly failed at being a 1st Corinthians 13 Christian and a lady cultured by grace. I immediately told God I was sorry and repented. I really don’t know what came over me that day, I usually don’t argue with people and I’d never before this incidence had a clash with a cabbie. I just let the spirit of pride and anger come over me and I let myself forget the lesson I learnt about Response. 

I’m just sharing this to tell myself that yes, you failed but a righteous may fall seven times but he will get up again. So I may have failed at this but I will rise above this and keep on pressing. And also to encourage you that walking  perfect before God is a journey we have to persevere on. 



Here’s to being cultured by grace. 


Speak To That Mountain 

Hi guys, this was the message in my devotional today. It really blessed me so I just wanna share it with you all. Read, learn and practice.     

                   Speak To Your Mountain

MARK 11:23 NKJ
23 “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain,
`Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in
his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to
pass, he will have whatever he says.

“Talk to mountains? Do you think I’m crazy?”

Jesus talked to things, and taught that “whoever” could also
speak to mountains.

A mountain is primarily any obstacle that stands in your way.

MARK 11:23 NKJ
23 “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain,
`Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in
his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to
pass, he will have whatever he says.

“Talk to mountains? Do you think I’m crazy?”

Jesus talked to things, and taught that “whoever” could also
speak to mountains.

A mountain is primarily any obstacle that stands in your way.

Faced with obstacles, most Christians pray to God. But Jesus

told us to speak directly to the obstacle and tell it to be

There is nothing wrong with discussing things with God. You
should. But when something is blocking your progress — Jesus
said YOU should tell it to get out of the way.

Most Christians just speak to God about the mountain, instead
of following Jesus’ directions and speaking directly to the

Are you just talking to God about the problems in your life,
instead of talking directly to the problems and telling them to
be removed?

20 So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for
assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed,
you will say to this mountain, `Move from here to there,’ and
it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.

According to Jesus, unbelief keeps us from speaking to our

What is the mountain in your life? What stands in the way of
your progress? What holds you back from going forward and
fulfilling God’s plan?

Speak God’s Word to that mountain!

Speak to the devil and his forces and tell them to get out of
your affairs.

Speak to sickness and tell it that it can’t stay in your body.

Speak to debt and financial lack and tell them to be removed
from your life.

Speak to doubt, fear, and worry and tell them to be gone.

If you say, “I just can’t believe it would do any good for me
to talk to problems,” that’s why you still have them.

Read what Jesus said again, and again.

SAY THIS: I will speak to the mountains that try to hold me


The Cool Kids of Blood Donation

As a development worker and enthusiast, I am always seeking ways to boost human development. So on my birthday (October 9) I was thinking of what I could do that day asides the usual giving to charity that everyone does. Moreover, it is not every day you turn a quarter of a century, so I wanted to celebrate my life in a not so usual way.

Then I remembered it had been a while since I last donated blood. In fact, I hadn’t done it since 2012 which was when I moved to Abuja. Back in Ibadan, UCH was my go to place to donate blood. I figured, why not go donate blood and possibly make it a tradition?

So I called up my ‘ride or live’ homies: Rouqui B, Dr. Kae (DoctorKae) and Smelly (@EmmanuelIhim) (Love these guys ehn, Abuja would not be home for me without them).

I informed them we would be going to donate blood and that would be their gift to me. I wasn’t asking them if they could do so, I was just notifying them they were going to do it. I also told folks in church and put it up on Twitter asking tweeps to join.

And my people turnt up! Sadly, Rouqui and Gina Ndukwe of Nigeria Info who also turnt up couldn’t donate because they’d taken medication shortly before that day. But still, I’m glad they showed up.


Emmanuel feeling fly with himself. Mind you, they had to work hard to find his vein o.


Dunno why those two were forming cool. On my betday for that matter.


See Dr. Kae too acting cool. Hian












Pardon me, but I’m pretty much a drama queen when it comes to needles. Doesn’t matter that I’ve been donating for years, the needle is a big somtin


Being the cool crew that we are, we’ve made donating blood on our birthdays a tradition now. We turnt up for Dr. Kae on his on January 26 and come May, we will be turning up for Smelly too. Our darling @abdulhabiba joined us on that day too. Sadly though, I was not allowed to donate because I was a week short of the required interval between blood donations for women. I begged and begged them ehn, my PCV was even high enough o but they refused. They did it for my good anyway, so no beef. They will be seeing me in May.


Habiba, the kid with the cool hair aka me, Dr. Kae and Emmanuel in the ‘invalid’ seat. Thankfully, they found his vein with less hassle this time around


The betday boy. He can pose for Africa sha.














I invite you to celebrate our birthdays with us by coming with us to voluntarily donate blood. Giving blood saves lives and improves your health too. What better way to celebrate your life than to give life to someone? Our next blood donation drive will be on May 14, Emmanuel’s birthday. Venue: NBTS, Wuse Zone 4.

And always look for something you can do to help humanity, no matter how little it seems to add to human development.

As ChazB said, “If each one can reach each one and each one can teach one, what a wonderful country Nigeria would be. Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, you are your sister and brother’s keeper. So show love just because…..”

So voluntarily donate blood just because…..

Above The ‘Absent Mood’

Hi folks! It’s another episode (If I can call it that) of being Cultured by Grace.

This week, I want to work on rising above something that happens to us all, that situation we all frequently find ourselves in. That ‘I’m Not In The Mood’ phase.


We all know how that phase can be and what would not have gotten you annoyed on a regular day just infuriates you when you’re not in the mood. We do not listen to people, we get offended easily and offend people easily too whenever we’re not in the mood.

Now, I know there are times when not being in the mood can be a good thing. What I’m addressing here today is how to be pleasant to and relate well with people even when you’re not in the mood to be pleasant. For us women, when our Aunty in Red comes on her monthly visit, it sometimes makes being pleasant doubly hard. Just last week, I upset someone because I was in pain and thus a bad mood because of our aunty. I could have avoided the misunderstanding if I had ignored the pain and related with him well or asked to have the discussion some other time.

If we truly are the superior species we call ourselves, we should be able to rise above the presence or absence of the mood.

I will at all times try to relate with people in a pleasant manner whether I’m in the mood or not. I do realise that there are times when I just may not be able to be so nice. So here’s a statement I’ve decided to have as a motto for such times. It sure won’t hurt to say “I’m sorry but now isn’t a good moment for me, can we talk about this or do this later?” That way I don’t have to give myself extra work in order to be pleasant and I’d have eliminated the risk of upsetting someone and causing conflict.

Have a lovely Monday!